A Narcissist’s Accusations Are Confessions

When a narcissist accuses you of something terrible, it’s often a reflection of what they are actually doing. This is called projection. They can’t face their own flaws, so they hurl them at you instead.

For example, if they’re lying, they’ll claim you can’t be trusted. If they’re being unfaithful, they’ll accuse you of cheating. If they’re manipulating others, they’ll insist you’re the one playing games. It’s a twisted defence mechanism that helps them avoid responsibility and keep control.

These accusations aren’t random. They are carefully chosen to put you on the defensive. You start explaining yourself, trying to prove your innocence, while the real issue gets buried. Over time, you begin to question your reality and feel ashamed for things you haven’t even done.

Remember this: when a narcissist points the finger, they’re often revealing the truth about themselves. Their accusations are usually confessions in disguise. Recognising this can help you detach from the guilt they want you to feel and see their behaviour for what it is—an attempt to manipulate and distract you.