Narcissists Have Selective Amnesia

A narcissist has a remarkable ability to remember things that never actually happened while conveniently forgetting the things that did. They will insist with absolute certainty that you said or did something you never did. If you protest, they’ll accuse you of lying, being forgetful, or trying to twist the truth. Over time, this relentless rewriting of history can leave you questioning your own memory and sanity.

They also have selective amnesia when it suits them. The cruel insults, the broken promises, the moments you caught them red-handed—they’ll claim none of it ever happened. But the second they need to justify their behaviour or attack your character, they suddenly recall every invented detail that paints them as the victim and you as the villain.

This isn’t simple forgetfulness. It’s gaslighting—a deliberate tactic to control the narrative and make you doubt yourself. Healthy people acknowledge what’s real, even when it’s uncomfortable. Narcissists, on the other hand, create their own version of reality to avoid responsibility and maintain power.

Never underestimate the damage this can do to your sense of self.